I think we've all experienced this feeling, one way or another. You know that feeling you get when you look around, count the group you are with and wonder who you have left our or left behind?
We've been having that feeling around here for quite a while. With our kids. 4 just wasn't all of them. And as crazy, chaotic and overwhelming as it gets, we knew someone was missing.
Besides, depending on the day and my attitude, things were crazy, chaotic and overwhelming when there was only one of them.
I knew a long time ago that Eli wasn't the last. He was itty bitty and I knew it. It took me a while to come to terms with it. I'm being honest. The 18 month between him and Avery were kinda rough. I spent many days and nights sitting in the rocking chair in their room nursing one and my hand through the bars of the crib rubbing another one's back. But I kept having the same impression over and over. Then Wade agreed with me. So I knew it was right. We joked about it. Did we want to be done? Yes. Where we done? No.
So number five is on the way. We knew (what seems like) a long time ago. Before the job was lined up. (more on that later). We took a leap of faith that it would all work out. We've learned there is never a convenient, perfect, time to have a baby. If you wait for that, something will undoubtedly always come up. We had Gage and Wade took a final the next day. In fact, Wade's mom and sister had to take us home from the hospital because of this! We had Noah and 3 days later he had a major 2nd year medical test. We had Avery just a few weeks before boards and we knew if we had "matched" in any medical residency. And we found out we were having Eli the same month my mom was in ICU, Wade found out his residency program was shutting down and we weren't even sure we would have a job anymore. We've learned to roll with the faith business. And it's all worked out so far.
I'm 10 weeks. I'm due November 27th, but I've had the other ones 10 days early. So I would guess we will have this little turkey home for Thanksgiving.
Most of the time I feel quite sea sick. Wade is a super-star and comes home every day, makes dinner, cleans up and puts the kids to bed while I sit green on the couch like a lazy bum. (That is why I was so mad last night if you follow me on facebook). I plan dinners, go to the store, buy things that sound totally wonderful at the time, come home, make them and decide that everything tastes like cardboard.
The worst part so far? Pinterst just makes me sick looking at all that food. ugh. It's sad. I know.
Wade assures me I do this with every single pregnancy and he says I'll feel better soon. He says I always do, and that I always forget about these first few yucky weeks.
The kids are super excited. Once we knew we would question them and ask them what they would think of another sibling. They all thought it would be fun and would start planning out where it would sit, where it would sleep, who would get to play with them.
After I had an ultrasound (yes, there is only one) and after we took the "2 feet" picture, we told them. Besides, you can only throw up in front of your kids for so long before they start to wonder what is going on. We asked if they could figure out the picture...they were totally stumped. Confused. But when Wade spilled the beans they were so excited! We told them it was a "secret"
The next day was Sunday. I got a text from the girl teaching Gage's class that said, "Gage says he knows a secret, that we can all know in November.....congratulations!" Then Noah told us after church he told a few people too. And Gage admitted that he might have told a few more people in his class too.
Leave it to the kids to spill the beans.
We're all pretty excited around here.
When we aren't feeling like hurling, that is.
One night I was showing the kids the ultrasound picture and explained that they baby was only the size of a grape right now. The next morning Noah asked me how a grape turns into a baby.
I have a feeling this time around is going to be a very "educational" journey.
And my bets: A girl would be fun, but it's another boy. it's just a hunch. We'll see.